Pretty Kitty Ikuto
by derribe la luna
Summary: AU. Ikuto is a lousy housecat. Utau is a crazy cat lady. And Amu just wants some peace. /series of one-shots./
1. Bicycle!

_/CRRRAAAACCCCKKK. _These one-shots are all for fun. To let things flow you know? Please review anyway and tell me what you think./

**0-0-0-0**

"I'm bringing sexy b-"

The cat with the blue pelt abruptly stopped singing as Amu's alarm clock hit him on his furry behind at full speed. He fluffed himself up in anger and pointed his ears back.

Amu stomped out of bed, spun around, and did a fancy kick that sent her pervert cat flying across her room.

He hit the wall at full speed and slowly slid to the floor.

"You stupid, fluffing CAT! What the heck are you waking me up for?" Amu screeched into her kitty's sensitive ears.

Ikuto shook his fur and sat down like a proper kitty, " Because it is 7am and _you_ are going to be late for school."

Amu roughly scruffed her cat and began shaking him, "You idiot! Its Saturday! Besides I have an alarm clock to wake me up…I don't need you to do it!"

"nort frsnyfeore."

"What the fluffernut did you just say?" Amu stopped shaking her cat long enough to let him speak.

"I said, 'not anymore." Ikuto purred.

"wha-" Amu looked toward the alarm clock and saw that it had broken into pieces.

Amu erupted into violent anger, grabbed her naughty cat by the tail, swug him like a lasso, and then threw him out her open window at full speed.

**0-0-0-0**

Amu was sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying a nice peaceful breakfast of cereal, when her blue-furred cat came slinking in through his kitty-flap door.

"It's a good thing that graceful kitties like me always land on our feet, otherwise I could've died." Ikuto meowed as he jumped onto the table next to Amu's cereal.

"Hey, I made sure I threw you into the trashcan for a nice soft landing." Amu replied as she picked the banana peel off of his head.

Ikuto's tail twitched as he glared at her. He huffed and bent down to drink some of the milk in her cereal. But before his little scratchy tongue could get too close, Amu picked up her trusty 'Ikuto-has been-a-bad-kitty-and-needs-to-be-punished' squirt bottle and shot Ikuto off the table with the powerful water blast.

Ikuto rolled around and yowled on the floor. He hated getting wet; it made him less pretty!

Amu placed her bowl in the sink, grabbed a dish towel and picked up Ikuto. He squirmed as she dried him off. "How many times have I told you to keep your fish breath out of my food, flea-bag?"

"Grr..you're…gonna…make me…all puffy." Ikuto growled as he leapt free.

Amu burst into laughter as Ikuto attempted to fix his puffball look.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't be so cranky though if you would've just shut up this morning though." Amu laughed as she picked her handsome kitty up.

Ikuto glared for a second and then gave up and rubbed his face against Amu. He began purring. He was so happy to be snuggled and loved by Amu again.

"C'mon, we need some more groceries."

Ikuto padded towards the door, when he was stopped by Amu's voice:

"Oh, Ikuuuuto, you forgot something….."

"I look ridiculous." Ikuto growled.

**0-0-0-0**

"Awww, you look so cute, though."

Ikuto was scrunched into the small basket in the front of Amu's bike. He had been jammed between the two overflowing bags of supplies that Amu had purchased. He put on his most grumpy kitty face as the wind blew his ears back. Before they had left the house, Amu had forced him into a frilly, lacey, pink collar that he hardly fit into anymore. This was the worse punishment yet. Why had she bought him this collar when he was a kitten anyway? Couldn't her family see back then that he was destined to become a totally cool and manly cat? This stupid thing made him look girly and fat…what would the lady kitties think of him now?

'_The only thing that could make this day any worse would be if…'_

'_OH NO.'_

'_Why were they talking this street? This is the street where…..'_

"AAAAAAMMMUUU!"

'_Oh no. Not that mousebrain…!'_

Utau ran towards Amu at full speed and dropped kicked her off her bike.

Amu, the bike, and the groceries went flying across the street. Ikuto yowled in terror as he shot up into the air.

'Go away gravity. Go away gravity. Go away gravity.' Ikuto thought desperately.

Sadly, gravity continued to work. And so, Ikuto flopped straight in the waiting arms of the nutcase.

"OH IKUTO! YOUR SOO FLUFFY. I WUV YOU SOOO MUCH! Utau gushed as she snuggled him.

Ikuto squirmed. He was being smothered by the combination of the ridiculous collar and Utau's snuggle of death.

He tried pushing his paws against her face, biting her ear, and howling like a wounded beast. He even tried to disarm her with one of his mysterious and cool feline glares.

'_Jeez, none of my attacks work on this chick.'_

Amu rolled out from under her bike, stood up, and began assessing the damage. The grocery bags had ripped slightly on impact and the food lay scattered across the road, both of her knees were scraped, and her loudmouthed cat was currently being loved to death by the blonde menace.

She sighed, walked over to a fallen orange, and threw it as hard as she could toward Utau's head.

CLUNK.

Utau promptly released her death grip and Ikuto scampered over to Amu. He purred his thanks and began rubbing against her legs.

"Owwwww." Utau groaned as she gently touched the fast-forming bump on her head. She lay there, dazed, for a moment before she realized her favorite kitty was no longer with her. She leapt to her feet and scanned the area.

There he was!

Utau again charged toward him, only to be stopped when Amu's foot connected with her face.

"Stop messing around and help me pick up these groceries, you crazy cat lady!" Amu yelled.

Utau glared. "I am not crazy, I just feel bad that poor Ikuto has to live with YOU."

Amu sighed and handed her a grocery bag that had survived the attack. "Help me pick up these groceries and I'll let him sleep over your house soon."

Utau's eyes immediately lit up and she grabbed both bags and ran at full speed to pick up everything.

Ikuto hid behind Amu's legs and began shivering at the thought of being trapped in a house with that nut for a whole night.

Before either of them could blink, Utau had repacked the bags and shoved them roughly into Amu's hands.

Ikuto's thoughts were interrupted as Amu scooped him up and squashed him between the bags in her basket again.

"Thanks, Utau." Amu waved as she rode off.

"You better keep your promise!" Utau screeched after them.

"Yeah, yeah…jeez that girl can yell." Amu sighed.

"Ammuuu, I'm squi-" Ikuto began.

"Shut up, Ikuto." Said Amu as she flicked his ear. "The whole thing was your fault anyway."

"MY fault? How?" Ikuto whined.

Amu did her best impression of Utau, "Becauuuse, you are just too snuggly wuggly….and furry."

"Haha, very funny. Can you peddle any faster, chunky? My graceful legs are cramping."

Amu immediately slammed on the brakes and watched as Ikuto sailed out of the basket and landed roughly on the ground.

"Stupid cat."


	2. Scissors!

"Come…on…we…have to leave!" Amu panted as she pulled on Ikuto's hind legs.

He responded by digging his sharp front claws deeper into the soft white curtain and shaking his head furiously. He attempted to wiggle away and regain the use of his hind legs , but the girl had a tight grip on them. She tugged again and he meowed loudly.

"Stop being such a baby and let's go!" Amu pleaded.

Ikuto twisted quickly and caught her off guard. She yelped as Ikuto nearly scratched her as he leapt to the floor. He darted across the rug and hid under the couch.

Amu sighed and lay on the floor as she peered at Ikuto.

His eyes glinted in the dark as he stared back.

'_We are so going to be late…..unless.'_

"Hey! Don't just walk away with that 'I win' look on your face!" Ikuto yelled after her.

Ikuto snuggled further back under the couch. He loved spending time with his owner but, there was no way he was going to go…._there._ He visibly shuddered as he remembered one of the neighborhood cats. His name was Rex and he had been one of the coolest kitties ever. Ikuto really admired him. Until one day, the cat went to _that place_ with his owner. Rex was never the same. He never wanted to talk about lady cats anymore or chase birds. All he did was lay around, get petted, and eat. Needless to say, he was no longer cool. But before he had been ever lady cat's favorite. He was athletic, smooth, and just all around awesome. When Ikuto had asked him about his life-changing trip, Rex promptly started groaning and began rolling around in the grass. He just acted like a fat, old fart now AND he was only 3!

Ikuto was pulled from his memory as he saw Amu's feet appear in front of the couch.

That was when he heard it.

The best sound in the world.

Amu was shaking cat-nip onto the floor. It was just a little bit, but it overwhelmed his senses.

'_Must resist...you…are…not an animal.'  
'Wait…'_

He shook his head and realized that his feet were moving him toward the wonderful substance!  
He didn't tell them to do that.

Before he knew it, he was rolling in the cat-nip. Getting it all nice and stuck in his fur. He started purring as he surrounded himself with it.

As soon as he looked distracted, Amu grabbed him and stuffed him into his kitty-carrier.

"Noooo! I hate this stupid box. And I don't want to go to that…that…butcher!" said Ikuto as he looked around the box for an escape.

"Amu ,honey, why is that cat meowing so much? Did you let him drink out of the toilet again?" Amu's mother called down the steps.

"Oh, that was one time." Ikuto muttered.

"No, mom. He's just nervous about going to the Vet." Amu called back.

"Alright, well, take him already. He is going to wake the whole neighborhood at this rate."

"Gotcha." Said Amu.

She carried the kitty-carrier outside and began walking down the street. Shaking the box as much as she could along the way. At one point, she even stopped, just to shake him up, extra hard.

'_I'm gonna be sick'_

Eventually she got bored of messing with him and asked, "Why are you acting so spazzy , anyway?"

"He's a monster. Just look at what happened to Rex." Ikuto replied.

Amu burst out laughing. .

-OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo-

She set the box on the floor as she waited for Ikuto's turn. He was shivering inside his box. This place was too clean. He missed the warmth of Amu's bed and the comfort of the house in general.

"Hinamori-san?" the woman called.

Amu picked up Ikuto's box and carried him into the designated room. He fought violently against the door of his cage as he was brought in.

-OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOooooooooO-

"See? That wasn't so bad." Amu soothed him on the way back home.

"Tch."

He silently agreed. The Vet-lady was very pretty and so was her assistant. And they had petted him and gave him lots of love. They even said they were jealous of Amu for having such a handsome cat. It wasn't as bad as he had pictured. Well, except the part where they stuck that cold stick up his butt. That was not cool. Or comfortable. At All.

Amu opened the door and let him out of his box. He pranced out and immediately began grooming himself.

"Your head's getting too small for your ego. I think we should find a new Vet."

Ikuto hissed and stalked toward his kitty flap door.

"Going to tell your lady friends about how brave you were at the big, scary Vet's office?"

Ikuto glared at her and leapt through his door.

So what if she was right. How did she know him so well anyway?

Humans, he would never understand them.

-oOoOoOoOoooOoooOoooOOooOOOO-

**Note: **This is a strange one, no? Just something I wrote really quick when I was reminded about how much my cat hates going to the Vet :(  
I promise. Less Ikuto-torture and more bonding after this one-shot. It's just a lot of fun to imagine him as a cat.

[Thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favorites' list. And a big 'Thank You!' to those who reviewed. This chapter is dedicated to you. Feedback (negative and positive) really encourages me :)]

**REVIEWERS:**

_Mermain123__: yes! Amu is the only one who can understand Ikuto. They have a strong bond.I wanted to write a one-shot explaining it more, but I haven't decided yet. :)  
Thank you for reviewing!_

_Be-Bee:__ oh no, of course not! I love cats and have one of my own who gets spoiled and snuggled all the time :) I just like having fun at Ikuto's expense. I promise to include a story where Ikuto is treated nicely…mostly. Also, only Amu can understand him; everyone else just hears cat sounds. Thank you for taking the time to review!_


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